THIS is Tarilyn Stokes. In August, she had absolutely no idea about any religions in the world and now we get together each week to read through John. Every week I ask her if she would like to accept Jesus into her heart and life but so far, she keeps telling me she's not ready. Yet, she wants to read and learn more each weeK. The Holy SpiritIS working in her! Just on his own time!
Enjoy this video and stick around until the end of it. She has an important message for you!
-HUGE doubts about raising support again next fall!
1. I worry that I'll be 'bothering' supporters by asking them to stay on my team. I NEED to remember that this is an OPPORTUNITY for supporters!
2. I have loans and bills to pay and so if support raising takes a long time, I have no income to pay them for a while. ( a 'regular' job might enable me to get all of that weight off my shoulders and really start to pay off loans big time)
- I often wonder if I'm even good at this job! I feel like the most awkward person ever!
-I seriously wonder if I'll ever be able to find a solid social life here even if I stay 2 years
- I really don't like living this far away from Tina and the baby
-2 years.... is that a long commitment?
- Learning this biz is a slow, often frustrating process.
- I miss working with kids a lot. Will this come later? College now? Or should I find a job with kids?
-Is this this best time to be traveling with ministry? Should I be taking advantage of that?
- Going on STINT (overseas) with Crusade would probably be unwise until I gain a solid foundation of ministry here in the states.
Reasons I'd LOVE to join staff!
- I love the way support raising (MPD) makes me trust God
-I LOVE how MPD allows me to team up with Christians through finances and prayer across the country!
-I LOVE my staff and know they're sticking around for a few more years
- I love the flexibility of my schedule
- Although I often question if living on support is lazy, I know VERY well that I work my butt off and am anything but lazy
- I'd love to see the students I'm working with grow throughout a few years
- I'm finally used to Tuscaloosa! It's finally comfortable!
- My staff values my personal growth so that I can be a better leader
- I love the church I've connected with here, Trinity, and want to become more involved
- I'd get to spend a summer in Colorado studying theology for staff training!!
- I'd have the opportunity to really really learn this job and skills from my staff well
- Most everything with this job lines up with what I love
Some days (and by some days I mean most days) I feel like I should know what I'm doing in this job. I should know all of the answers. I shouldn't get frustrated. I should understand grace. I've been a Christian for most of my life and have always (pridefully) considered myself somewhat of a professional at it. And yet, the Lord is in the business of humility. Praise God for the awkwardness that surrounds my daily conversations with college girls. Praise God for the perseverance He gives my eager heart and messy words as they attempt over and over again to make some sort of sense out of His Truth to the twenty-somethings in front of me. Praise God for a soul that thrives on creativity- a personality that enables me to express my lingering thoughts through weighty prose. And, as usual, praise God for rain, in whatever form it may be......
My feet are sinking into earth
and mud is rising to my knees.
Wading in the dirt and rain,
a little farther day by day by day.
Trudging left, right, left, in awkward forward motion,
learning how to trust the ground below…
when caverns threaten submerged feet…
and I fear the depths my next steps may find.
It’s hard to know what grace looks like
with each slosh of suctioned stride
The sludge spits 5 feet high
From my soles a cyclical motion of frustrated resistance.
Pry. Splatter. Motion. Decend. Splatter.
Repeat.
It’s in my eyelashes…in my hair…
I am marked by the murky rains of unsteady foot.
But dear Campbell, dear, like I child I return
And back again for the morning gleam.
It seems that to trust the ground below…
Is finding strength in patience yield
when balance fails and muddy streams meander flesh
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