An Off Day

Some days (and by some days I mean most days) I feel like I should know what I'm doing in this job. I should know all of the answers. I shouldn't get frustrated. I should understand grace. I've been a Christian for most of my life and have always (pridefully) considered myself somewhat of a professional at it. And yet, the Lord is in the business of humility. Praise God for the awkwardness that surrounds my daily conversations with college girls. Praise God for the perseverance He gives my eager heart and messy words as they attempt over and over again to make some sort of sense out of His Truth to the twenty-somethings in front of me. Praise God for a soul that thrives on creativity- a personality that enables me to express my lingering thoughts through weighty prose. And, as usual, praise God for rain, in whatever form it may be......

My feet are sinking into earth

and mud is rising to my knees.

Wading in the dirt and rain,

a little farther day by day by day. 

Trudging left, right, left, in awkward forward motion, 

learning how to trust the ground below… 

when caverns threaten submerged feet…

and I fear the depths my next steps may find. 

It’s hard to know what grace looks like

with each slosh of suctioned stride   

The sludge spits 5 feet high

From my soles a cyclical motion of frustrated resistance.

Pry. Splatter. Motion. Decend. Splatter. 

Repeat.

It’s in my eyelashes…in my hair… 

I am marked by the murky rains of unsteady foot.

But dear Campbell, dear, like I child I return

And back again for the morning gleam.

It seems that to trust the ground below…

Is finding strength in patience yield

when balance fails and muddy streams meander flesh

Eyes fixed forward in piercing compel

 for the journey is worth eternity.